Tagged: guest post

CHECKER2: THE REVENGE

 

By guest writer Postlethwaite Timberhats, L.L.C 

At this year’s game developers conference, in the conference center’s back corner, was a booth many people missed.  New Wheel Games had several impressive games on display that they were there to showcase.  This article will focus on their follow-up to the board game checkers, titled CHECKER2: THE REVENGE.  They’ve updated nearly every aspect of checkers, but how does it fare?  Will it impact modern society in the way the first checkers did?  Will it still be around in a millennia?

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Reviews That Don’t Exist: Guest Edition

Recently I discovered an online video game name generator (also works in the context of band names):

Name Generator

The names generated are hilarious, but what most people don’t realize is that if you use the special code the games are actually unlockable and playable.

After the recent institutionalization of my guest writerMatt Anglen I went to freelance writer Maxwell P. Enright to get reviews of some of the games that are unlocked on the site. All following reviews are by Maxwell P. Enright. My own reviews of some of the other games will come soon.

NOTE TO PARENTS: Some of these games are not PG and not for children; read on at your own risk.

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Portal 2: Dancing With Robots

"...sometimes I just sit and stare at the menu screen. At the playful robots. So pure and emotionless. I’m almost out of money, but it’s ok. I only need the one bullet."

Guest review by Matt Anglen

At first Portal 2 appears to be a lighthearted romp through a futuristic wonderland. The commercials certainly enforce this idea with lilting techno, adorably playful robots and a soothing, though computerized, voice guiding the action. Not to mention the promise that the robots, and in turn the player, will have “fun with science.” Nothing could be further from the truth.

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Guest Review: Anne Geddes 64: A Critical Investigation

This guest article was written by Postlethwaite Timberhats, L.L.C. According to the author, he is a limited liability corporation that manifested as a real human in some pinnochio-like mixup with magic. He dreams of one day being a CPA. He enjoys eating and the company of his wife, Sheryl. He lives in Nebraska with his dog and his dog’s two cats. Sheryl lives in Boston, but they Skype quite a bit. He is colorblind against African Americans. He does not believe in alien lifeforms, outside of Paula Deen.
[ed-all pictures were composed by yours truly]

While viewing this image you should be listening to "Whole Wide World" by Wreckless Eric to get the full effect.

I suppose I was always a gamer, even in the womb.  Like Dali, I can remember every moment of it.  You’re wondering what remembering the womb is like?  The best I can describe it is that it is like being in a large burlap sack while at the prom with your giant-sized date, who happens to be Steven King’s “Carrie” and also, pigs blood is streaming all over you.   The main womb game I remember playing was similar to what we now know as DDR, where you kick in time with circadian rhythms.  It took practice and timing.   As I developed from a puddle of cells into a larval human, I became more preoccupied with a skee-ball-like activity; trying to build up enough speed to pass through a designated opening.  Success in that game is the most terrifying moment of a fetus’s life, and possibly the most deserving of an achievement. Birth.  Low replay value.
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